Ahhhh....books

I just realized that I haven't posted anything for a while. There is a very good reason for this....books.

I put an ad on our church blog to borrow books since I've read every book I have at least 7 times and the response was huge!! I am enjoying all the books I have to read now and I have found several new authors that I like. Poor Kevin and the kids don't have my full attention at all, but I am in heaven.

Hopefully, I can work through this pile o' books and return to my normal activities..and then again maybe I'll stay lost in the world of mystery, suspense and romance a few days longer. :)

You know you're a Redneck if.....

Ok...I was getting really tired of my hair. I'm in the process of growing it out and it's too short to pull back and too long to look presentable. I was struggling with it every day and finally resorted to putting it back in little clippies which didn't look that great. So, I decided it was time to curl it or cut it. Do you have an impending sense of doom yet? You should...my life would be a little less funny today if my impending sense of doom meter had been working that day.

It took me all of 3 minutes to decide it was time to perm my hair. Growing up, I got a perm every 4 months and loved them. My hair always looked good then, so why not now? When I was arguing this out in my head, it made sense.

So, I called my mom and made arrangements for her to perform this beauty enhancing aid to my poor, straight, dilapitated hair and she readily agreed...what a wonderful mother!

Saturday dawned bright and early and I found myself in Sally Beauty Supply looking for just the right perm. I picked one, paid for it and happily headed to my mom's house. After arranging the curlers, the wrappers, the water bottle, and the comb, I reached for the box. Excitedly I opened this great treasure to read the instructions. Halfway down, I notice that this particular perm calls for a hair dryer...you know..the kind that the little old ladies (no offense meant) sit under in the beauty shop? Hmmmm...we don't have a dryer. I was going to give up (and looking back maybe I should have taken this as a sign) but my dad, being just as good as any McGyver decided that he could take care of this little problem.

With Annie and Taylor's help, my mom rolled my hair around all the little curlers and then squeezed on the curling solution. Then came my dad. He had taken my mom's hair dryer, rigged it to a stand and was holding that in one hand and a garbage bag and a rubber band in the other. Can you figure out what happens next? Yup...you guessed it. They placed the open end of the bag over my curlers and used twist ties to keep it in place. Then carefully positioning my head and the dryer, they poked a hole in the other end of the bag, placed it over the hair dryer, put the rubber band there to hold the bag down and turned it on. Jeff Foxworthy would have been proud!

It's hard to describe what happens when air enters the trash bag you are wearing on your head. Thankfully, so we didn't forget about this...my dad took some lovely pictures. Just promise not to laugh too hard.
And a side view...I look like one of those big headed aliens.
Finally, my 20 minutes was up...thank goodness too because I was rapidly losing my dignity. We put on the neutrilizer, waited 5 more minutes and then took out the curlers. I did my part my rinsing my hair and then I wrapped it in a towel.

My mom, being the thorough person she is, came over to style it for me. I can't describe the feeling that comes over you when your stylist (who is your mother) is working with your freshly permed hair and giggling. At this time I'm thinking that maybe it didn't come out exactly like I thought it would.

I reached back and felt the tight curls and she asked me what it felt like. I responded that it felt like the fur on a french poodle, and she respoded that it kind of looked like that too. Bless her heart...she was trying really hard not to lose it and laugh uncontrollably. Annie and Taylor who had been helping up to this point had suddenly disappeared and Dad found things to do in another room.

I retired to the bathroom to take a good look and well...she's right. When Kevin and Troy came back to pick us up, Troy took one look at me and asked if I had made it that curly on purpose. I think he was trying to feel me out...if I said yes, he'd compliment me...if I said no, he had unspoken permission to laugh.

Kevin, being the wonderful husband he is kind of kept his eyes focused above my head and told me I looked "cute". In knew he was lying, but he did it to save my feelings, so I'll forgive him for it.

I would share a picture, but I refuse to have one taken. When I brushed it the other night, it looked like an afro...standing up at least 4 inches from the top of my head.

So, what to do while I wait for it to relax? I thought about a paper bag, but my hair is so high that when I put it on, it only came to my nose, so that isn't an option. I've thought about going for the sypathy card and explaining that I had an unfortunate incident with something electrical, but I'm not sure that would fly either. I guess I'm just going to have to live with it.

In the meantime, I'm avoiding public places lest I be mocked by teenagers, have young children run away in a terrified panic or have a bird land in my "nest".

I did learn a few things: 1) Make sure you think about getting a perm for longer than 3 minutes. 2) Make sure you read the instructions to know if you have everything you need. 3) Make sure you give your husband, parents and children their pre-written lines as to what to say to you once your curlers come out. 4) Make sure to get your sense of impending doom meters checked regularly by a licensed technician.